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Thursday, 09 July 2009

Randomness

Talked over the phone with Shanshan, discussed about tomorrow's meeting, talked about our obsession with bof, raved about lee min-ho's good looks, told her the story of how i fell from the sofa today, had heaps of laughter that i think should have awaken her whole family.
HAHA, i wish every other night was like this. I've grown to hate the loneliness during the peak hours of morning that i still stay awake. With nobody to talk to, it really kills me. Every other night i lie in bed for hours, then thinking of all the people i could msg, i realise there is none. So the talk with Shanshan, regardless of length, makes my day(or night, if you like).
Ok. Gonna end here, short, as promised by myself :D i'm so proud i kept my promise kay! Going back to my lit essay now, hopefully.
BYE!

Friday, 03 July 2009

A little too far behind.

As time passes, memories replace memories, and they up stack against one another like the deposits underneath the seabed. Older memories fade and newer ones come closer to defining the changed and new you. As you drift further and further from the past, who knows what you've left behind. Those that you had with someone else, those that someone else still holds on to. What about those that only you have remembered? What can describe the profound loneliness of a memory that only you still kept access to? Its like an image that no one else can see nor remember, a page in history that no one else turns to revisit. I fear that one day even i will forget them altogether, and lose what i held so dear to me, what made me feel so alive then. And if i do, no one else will be able to help.
It daunts upon me that i'm always the one clinging on to the past and unwilling to move on with life. i feel i'm always stuck with history, always. I guess its a way of self-assurance, finding security in the past rather than deal with the every-changing present. Isn't it a bad habbit! (Just in case you wonder, i'm referring to secondary school days, i miss everything then! Nolstagia never dies? )
Had the intentions to go study tmr, but sudden change in plans left me lost again. Have you ever been so lost, know the way and still so lost? ( Katy Perry's "lost", nice!)

On a lighter note, xinwei did this for me, so cool!:
nɹıʎ uɐʇ ǝoZ
Ok, gtg, sweet dreams tonight! <3 Loves.

"I'm afraid of being alone forever,
dreams not being fulfilled,
having something tragic happen,
losing someone close to me,
or just losing the sense of being alive altogether."

Monday, 29 June 2009

Here to blog about my experience of trauma today.
Took the first ever 3-hour-straight history paper this afternoon. So it was the first time we tried writing 4 essays in 3 long hours. It was horrible as hell. is it even something humans are supposed to do?! Makes me think if im the only one having a problem with it. Apparently not, many others didn't finish even after writing their lives out. hurhur! Guess now's not the time to ask why i chose to take history in the first place >.< & i shiver to think of how many more of such papers im gonna have to do before A's, and this is apart from the improving of content part. oh, goodness, save me.
I think i was so traumatized by that paper that when i went home and took a nap, i actually dreamt of the things i write in my essays! But yet it wasn't exactly the things i write, they were a combination of that, and something else. hurrrrrrrrrr i shiver to think of such a nightmare! i rmb some fragments of burma, assimilation, etc. horrible. period.
Led me to this realisation that maths is not the only subject paper that could kill me. No way. Writing could kill too. Now if i were to multiply it by 3 subjects, it means i'm gonna die 3 times. Happy life i have. hurr.
okay now. stop complaining. the risk that might break you is the one that would save you.
Lit paper tmr. gonna read up abit now. bye!

PS, the soundtracks album is out, saw it at popular today!! want it want it! LUCKY IN MY LIFE~ HAAHA

Friday, 26 June 2009

Epiphany

7
Which of these would you most want to be?
Member of the peace corps
Nurse
Global warming/environmental Activist
Comedian
Gangster
Rock Star
Housewife
Hairstylist
Farmer

Hullo :D

I was doing a facebook quiz "What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?", when i had a sudden epiphany. So the questions goes, "Which of these would you most want to be?"

And as unexpected as it was true, i chose to be a Housewife. Seriously. Never have i realised this change in myself. I remember how i got disgusted at the fact that one day i had to become a mother of a family and do housework from dawn till dusk and worry about the upcoming rain wetting my laundry. I dismissed that idea alot and promised myself i'd never live like this because, for one, i hated doing chores, secondly, i can't bear being confined in the house all day. Yea but i've actually come to resign myself to being a housewife, its cool. Not only that, i want babies. HAHA it sounds funny but i'm serious. & everyday i am surer. I might be too young to think about that, but i somehow feel this would be it for the rest of my life, i'd wanna have a family. Which makes me wonder where louise got all her i-am-staying-single-for-life thoughts from!! Its absurd, especially so for girls of our age, who are supposed to paint the most idealistic picture of the future. But i doubt she'll stay that way for long, huh, lou? LET'S SEE ^.^

And my result is rather cool anyway.
1940's
You are the ultimate romantic at heart. You put a high priority on true love, patriotism, and dedication to honor and duty. Whether it be serving your country or serving your family, you have a very hard work-ethic balanced out by your whimsical, dreamy heart. You are willing to take risks, go where no one has gone before, and you have a sense of pride in everything you do. Just as you are in touch with your inner beauty, you also give just the right amount of focus on your outer beauty-- standing out with the latest fashions and getting in touch with your sensual side. Your sexiness is not scandalous but rather classy and poised. You are the envy of those around you because no matter how much tough work you have to do, you keep a smile and look good while doing it.

I think quizes like these always have a way of describing people to the extent of hyperbole, seriously! Obvious exaggeration -.- But yet somehow reading them makes us happy, no? And we convince ourself its true. HAHA.

Lynn did "What job suits you best?" and the result is UNEMPLOYED! LOLOLOL

All fun and insignificant epiphany aside, school is starting soon, common tests are coming in no time. But my stamina is running out too!! I wish school would just start soon cos i no longer can stand forcing myself to study everyday, its intolerable, i'm bursting. But i must say, compared to my previous holidays, this must be the most productive of all. I havn't done enough, but atleast there's improvement right. Then again, is improvement ever good enough? I can say, no, for this demanding exam. When school starts i hope i'd get hardworking because everyone would be chionging too. So, see how things go. I can't wait till exams are over.

Oh this is a nice song.

Wonder through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes
And hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

PS, LEE MIN HO IS THE THE CUTEST EVER!

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

the greatest prosperity, ever

"guess everyone has someone
who challenges them and makes them
shoot for something just beyond their
reach. You’re that person."